I need to get back to my blog...

Maybe then I won't internalize things so much if I get it out.

I don't know where to start...

My support system is now only Gary and the kids. There are many changes that have taken place since the ending of 2009. All the "hanai, calabash" family we "had" are no longer a part of our lives. That is all that will be said on that.

I am home, not working, not doing a great deal of anything. Can go days with no contact with anybody but the kids & Gary. I don't feel right talking to people anymore. I closed my facebook page this weekend, not sure yet if permanent or not.

I've lost two of my cats since November and this has hit me hard also.

As for my health...I'm not dead yet (against manys hopes). I am coming up on 18 years on the 21st. I think I am in one of the darkest places I have been.

I just can no longer put a positive spin on things. I feel like I am very alone.

Not a great post but at least I started it again.