Facebook & Myspace I fear, but this is still where I feel I can get my thoughts out and where I can be myself and don't have to put on faces or have to try and be happy if I am not. I have had my heart torn out over the past few days. Some around me are are not happy, but are breathing somewhat easier, if that is possible...not for me yet. Right now, I feel like something has been shredded, poked, prodded and then puddled from me but whatever it was it didn't want to leave or go willingly.
My best-friend / hanai sister feels that I have betrayed a sacred trust and that we would be better off without each of the other in their lives...to bad nobody informed my heart that. Unfortunately, I will not be better off without her in my life no matter what anybody else says. She is my sister, bottom line. I love her and it hurts that she is not there. I hope that she finds the peace that she needs. I hope that she can one day find what she is looking for, cause I can't help her anymore. Just please pray for her.
My head tells me to go...but my heart is lagging behind, it has taken me a week to be able to get this down on paper. I need to find some type of closure, turn it over to the One that knows all things and heals. That is the plan, easier said than done.
It just really hurts when things go so wrong...
