After three months of waiting I saw the pain specialist...

I am now completely disillusioned... I have cried so much since yesterday and don't have it in me to rehash everything so I will copy and paste a conversation that I had with my best friend last night....

Lyssa Moura: you here?
Fay: "This conversation is being monitored by Bsecure Internet Protection Services" yeah
Lyssa Moura: went to pain specialist today
Lyssa Moura: it took 2.5 hours
Fay: oh goodness
Lyssa Moura: spent 1 hour with psychologist
Lyssa Moura: spent one hour with a special nurse
Fay: the psychologist was part of the pain management?
Lyssa Moura: spent a long time waiting for the dr.....
Lyssa Moura: he comes in,,,, and in 5 minutes tells me ,,,, in these EXACT words....
Lyssa Moura: you need to lose weight and go to physical therapy and you will be fine, i can't help you at all....'
Lyssa Moura: he then stands up and walks out
Lyssa Moura: even his nurse was standing there with her jaw on the ground
Fay: what? how dumb, you did loose weight and it didn't help any
Lyssa Moura: i have lost over 60lbs, and i have already done PT and i see a chiro that has me doing special exercises 3 times a week
Fay: is there maybe another PT you can go to that will maybe give you different things that you are more comfortable doing?
Lyssa Moura: i stood up and walked out... stopped at the front asked if there was anything else that i needed to do.. she asked if i was going to schedule my next appointment with the psychologist.... i said no... and walked out... i was able to hold it together until i got down the fronyt lobby on the ground floor
Lyssa Moura: no with our insurance, the only PT i can go to is CASTLES
Lyssa Moura: either at PCP or at the new building, been to both
Fay: is there more than that one you saw already?
Fay: oh ok
Lyssa Moura: i called physcians exchange to get ahold of dr stahl.... told him everything... he wants to see it all written in the report to see if it comes off the way i perseived it
Lyssa Moura: i have 5 different drs that referred me to this dr.... he was my last hope
Fay: what is there to "preseive" if he said it straight like that
Lyssa Moura: thats what i want to know
Lyssa Moura: i really needed gary right then
Fay: i think it's crazy for him to be able to make such a quick decision like that, with barely talking to you. I mean I know he probablly looked at the notes from the psycologist and the nurse, but still
Lyssa Moura: i called my mom and cried to her all the way home
Lyssa Moura: i had to fill out 13 pages of paperwork.... that he had to read... so he did know a great deal about me
Lyssa Moura: it was almost like essays
Fay: yeah but still, he should have at least talked to you about it all before making such a quick decision
Lyssa Moura: it took me most of the week to do it all
Lyssa Moura: a guy came in when i first got there and his paperwork wasn't done and they cancelled his appt RIGHT there !!!
Lyssa Moura: my paperwork came with a paper that said it had to ALL be done!!! before coming in
Lyssa Moura: they WERE serious
Fay: good grief
Lyssa Moura: the psychologist is/was really nice, but he too went and talked to the dr after he spoke with me.... he asked some really hard things.... there was no way around them, I had to answer them... which i am sure he went straight to the dr and told him about
Fay: about what
Lyssa Moura: the one goood thing tho.... i was talking to the nurse about my side pain... she said dont go with a GI dr.... try talking straight to a general surgeon... like Dr noguchi... that did Gary's
Lyssa Moura: appendix
Lyssa Moura: i like dr cheung, but dr noguchi would be a better approach for what i want him to do....
Fay: do you think dr noguchi would be able to figure out the problem?
Lyssa Moura: i want him to go look inside and see if there is anything on the OUTSIDE of my colon
Fay: ah ok
Lyssa Moura: im going to call him tomorrow
Fay: so like an exploritory surgery
Lyssa Moura: if there is endo there.... it would still be activated due to the estrogen
Lyssa Moura: and the estrogen i am on, DOES have a small amount of progesterone too
Lyssa Moura: those together spell trouble for endo
Fay: yeah
Fay: didn't know endo could go to the colon area
Lyssa Moura: when they did my hysterectomy it was all adhered to my spine, bladder, all over the place
Lyssa Moura: if there is the slightest hole or opening,.... can we saw Rosenbam?....it can go wherever it wants
Fay: oh wow, yeah rosenbam
Lyssa Moura: colonoscopys cost 3691.00 ...... just got the HMSA statement
Fay: good grief... it WAS covered wasn't it?
Lyssa Moura: dr to do it 2073.30 for 1/2 hour of work
Fay: yikesLyssa Moura: 161.47 to read it
Fay: your kidding to read it
Lyssa Moura: we are in the WRONG line of work
Fay: no kiddingFay: that's nuts
Lyssa Moura: 276.44 for dr tsai to call me and give me the results over the phone
Fay: rofl
Fay: that's crazyy

Bottom line.... what I got out of it.... All of my physical problems stem from all my emotional problems from my earlier life and present life.... that is how I took what this Dr told me.
I once had a Dr tell that Drs make up their minds in the first 4 seconds of meeting a patient of what their opinion and diagnosis is going to be and whether or not they will even treat them as a patient. So something that I said to either the psychologist or the nurse set this Dr off... I saw it in his face the minute he walked in the room before he had even said a word that he was not going to be able to help me at ALL. The sad thing is that I had put so much hope into this appointment that when it came all crashing down I almost didn't get out of there fast enough. I didn't want THEM to see me crash. I made it out of the building before that happened.

I haven't been able to stop crying since then though....I know God has a reason for this, so for now I just have to wait and see what is next and where He points me.... and Pray that my 5 Drs keep me supplied with my meds as this Dr said to go back to my Drs for whatever I was on....