7/17/07....Thank you so much for the Prayers.... my friend has been found and her boys are safe...

She is here on Oahu living with family, that is all I know. I don't know how she ended up here or anything that transpired but I received a called Sunday afternoon that she and the boys had been found and they are safe and are staying/living with family here on Oahu. Please continue to keep them in your prayers that provisions will be provided for whatever is to happen next will be for the better of her life.

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It's almost 430am here and once again I am up in the middle of the night. I went back to see Dr Kessel (Endocrinologist, that handles most of my med regimen) last Wednesday, he didn't want to change too much as my blood is looking rather stable right now.... he is afraid to mess with anything in the fear of unbalancing something. He again reminded me that IT IS THE PRACTICE OF MEDICINE and there is no REAL RIGHT OR WRONG... not sure how I am supposed to take that after 14 years of this. I had Laura and Ethan with that day, (Ethan was out of his Focalin XR since Monday, that was a completely different saga....but to say the least he was in withdrawal big time and needed to be with me until we could get to his Dr for his meds ~ it is so scary what these meds can do to you), he was so worried as he sat in the waiting room that the Dr was going to give me some terrible news and I was going to have to go into the hospital or something. He hasn't been to this Dr with me since he was a little baby. I try to spare the kids my appointments and arrange them during the day when they are at school or when Gary can watch them. He wanted to know why Auntie Laura HAD to come with me. I told him that I get shots when I come to Dr. K and sometimes they make it so that I can't drive home, so I have to have somebody with me. I was so hyped up on the fact that Ethan needed to get to HIS Dr. for his meds and that we still needed to get over the hill IN traffic for this and get the script filled and what not that my body was fighting the shots that I got and it actually took 4 and a ½ hours for the meds to kick in but when they did THEY DID.... I was OUT for about 5 hours I think I got up at about midnight... Gary was up doing some work. I vaguely remember him asking me about the new dosing on Ethan's medicine, but it was all clearly on the label of the new bottles and we didn't start the new dosing on his night meds as we had gotten home so late so that was all he really needed to do. I ate a banana I think, drank some tea, took my night pills and I went right back to bed, which one of my newer ones has one in it that puts me right back to sleep for about 4-5 hours of DEAD sleep. I have the weirdest dreams though. I dream of the pain that I am in. I feel the pain on a totally different level. Gary said two nights ago that at about 430am...which is normally when I am just getting up I was SCREAMING...he came running, he had been taking Laka out....but when he got back to the room, he said I was crying in my sleep but I was asleep. I was curled up in a ball in pain but totally asleep. I don't even remember. I didn't wake up yesterday until almost 7am, and that is totally not normal for me at all.

There are a great deal of things going on with work that I still can't really get into either but I think that is putting a great deal of stress on me. Gary has a great deal of stress on him from his job also. He has to make some really big decisions soon.

It's 5am and my tummy is revolting so this is it for now......