TODAY SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have had 3 visable seizures today, just this morning before Gary left for work.... one in my left hand, one in my right eye and the last in my right cheek... Gary didn't want to leave for work, but he needed to. As he said yesterday, his co-workers know I am sick, they no longer care. They are tired of the time that it takes him away from his job. He had to stay home yesterday because lilman was home and I couldn't care for him myself. They want a "quick fix" The patients that do something fast and radical are looked on as "oh wow"... but the rest of us that are "chronic" are just an eye sore and pitied...Sorry, just having a really tough time here...

I have Ethan's psych telling me I am the cause of all his problems and with his appointment coming up next Monday.... Anxiety starts setting in about now.... and we had meltdown this morning... with Ethan telling us.... "why can't I be normal, why can't I have a normal brain, that functions without medicine, and doesn't want to hurt or kill people"All the whys that I have never questioned are all in his little body and right now that is a huge weight on me....

My eye is starting again......


Suzie, I am thinking about you today.... be strong, but know that daddy is at peace