My Extra Responsibilities...

that started when I was THREE years old are almost complete... Gma is gone... She passed on Wednesday August 30, 2006 at 9:57am. Our family Dr pronounced her. The official cause of death is listed as heart failure. I believe that to be VERY accurate... she died of a BROKEN HEART.
I sit here crying for what could have been. When we brought Gma to live with us, we were so filled with anticipation of the years our children would have with her. That was not to be. She came here and gave up. I was asked a question yesterday morning that I IMMEDIATELY knew the answer to and I didn't even have to really think on it... "When did I truly say good-bye to Gma?" ... Truthfully???... The day we BURIED GPA! We buried Gma that day too.
I know I am in mouring, but I don't really know why. She was not happy, she LONGED to be with Gpa. I mourn my relationship with her. I mourn the fact that she was not a Christian and I don't like the fact that I will never be re-united with her and Gpa. I mourn the closeness we used to have. I mourn that I no longer have any living blood grandparents. I mourn that I no longer have a reason to be a daughter to my father. I mourn THAT MORE than anything. In some way, albeit, a stupid thing, I know, I had hoped that this would help us, not drive us further apart as I have ALWAYS known it would. I lost much more than my Gma last week, I lost my father too. I lost what little hope I had of salvaging our relationship.
I was reading another post earlier and just today realized that I haven't eaten anything in days...I have lost 12 lbs in a week. I feel old, tired, old but most of all EMPTY. If this is even HALF of what Gma felt like after losing Gpa, then I think I can partially understand her giving up. I have a family, I have a wonderful Saviour that love me and protects me, she didn't have any of that. She had no HOPE period.
I have made all the necessary phone calls, mailed off all the necessary paperwork, and life is moving on... I will never forget her and I had added a special charm to my necklace for her and Gpa in our family... now my Family is complete

It will go on the empty spot on my jeweloop...

Gary had my chain fixed so Boo's heart is no longer in the center and it was off balance.


The obituary will appear in the California newspaper tomorrow...
This is her Obituary that will be found here... www.VenturaCountyStar.com/obits from Thursday September 7 - October 6, 2006 I think the lady told me.
In Loving Memory of Mrs. SidneyAckerfield, we bid aloha to ShirleyAckerfield as she passed away onWednesday, Aug. 30, 2006 at the ageof 83.
A long time resident of Simi Valley, she has called Kaneohe Hawai’i, home, for the past three and a half years. Mrs.Ackerfield passed away quietly at home after a long illness.
Preceded in death only by her husband, Sidney.
Shirley is survived by her one brother; two children; four grandchildrenand five great-grandchildren.
Funeral arrangements were handledby Hawaiian Memorial Park Mortuary with a private family burial at Mililani Memorial Park & Mortuary at 1:30p.m. Friday, Sept. 1.
Family can be contacted at:ourkeiki@yahoo.com
Please sign the guest book at www.VenturaCountyStar.com/obits