I have bunches to post about, but for now, just nerves.........

you know nerves are bad when you get 6 weeks worth of clean laundry put away in just a few days. Gary and I have been doing this today, and it's almost all put away. We also went through all the toys again this past weekend and he and the kids made a trip to salvation army yesterday, we are, after almost 10 years, reclaiming the patio. Evan has graduated to a bike with training wheels. The tricycle and the big wheel are on borrowed time and will be leaving this house for places unknown soon.

I have to say, somethings are really bothering me tonight. When I left my pre-op appointment on Thursday, I called Lydia FIRST, even before Jen and asked for help for tomorrow, she pretty much blew me off. So I had to take things into my own hands and find HELP. I was very fortunate to find our neighbor who is going to help us tomorrow. In the meantime, it is now Monday night, and I have not heard from Lydia AT ALL since I talked to her on Friday after running a couple of errands for her. I am deeply hurt by this. Gary thinks she is mad that I found somebody else to help us. WHAT was I supposed to do??? We don't have family here. I don't want mom and dad to cancel their trip for this. I CANNOT handle too much intrusion right now. I got an email from my mom the other day she really wants to come right now and spend time with me, I JUST CANNOT do this, not now. I am sorry if this is mean, or wrong, but this IS MY LIFE. I just CANNOT. There are just too many other things that go with it and I CANNOT deal with at the moment. Today she called and asked if she could come, but did I want her to stay somewhere else... that is just wrong, that doesn't help me at all. If she is here on the island she needs to be here. If she is somewhere else it's more of a burden to me, truthfully.

I know the musical play RENT is a very controversial play but message is VERY powerful. If you can see this movie with an open mind it has a wondeful message. I have watched it no less than 20 times in the less than a month that I have had the DVD so far. I need to get the Music CD before I completely wear out the DVD. I just love the songs.

Ok, long enough break for now.... not sure when I will be back up and posting, but I did want to say thank you GCM Jen for the visit yesterday, it meant more than you ever know!